Divorce can be a challenging life transition whether a couple saw it coming or if one spouse didn’t anticipate that their partner wanted a divorce. From the outside looking in, people may perceive divorce simply as the end of a relationship. However, for couples going through separation, it’s a major upheaval that may affect them emotionally, financially and socially.
Understanding the potential emotional stages couples may encounter can help them navigate this challenging time with greater self-awareness and compassion.
Denial: The initial shock
Denial is the mind’s way of protecting couples from the harsh reality of a divorce. Divorcing couples may experience periods when they think that the end of their marriage simply isn’t real. While denial can be a temporary shield, it’s important not to get stuck in this stage. Divorcing couples should recognize and confront their emotions to help facilitate healing.
Anger: A powerful release
As denial fades, couples may experience immense anger towards their spouse, themselves or even the world for the circumstances that led to the divorce. Anger can manifest as:
- Blaming their partner for the marriage’s failure
- Feeling resentment over perceived injustices
- Lashing out over small things
While anger is a natural part of the grieving process, it’s essential to channel it in healthy ways, such as exercising or speaking with a therapist.
Bargaining: Clinging to hope
A sense of desperation marks this stage as some couples try to regain control of a situation by making deals or promises in an attempt to salvage the marriage. While bargaining is a common response, it’s essential to understand that it doesn’t offer a solution. Recognizing that some things are beyond control is key to progressing.
While dealing with the emotional impact of divorce, separating couples can benefit from legal guidance to effectively navigate the logistical side of ending a marriage. The appropriate legal support can protect couples from making errors that might add to the rollercoaster of feelings they’re grappling with.